Please. For the love of God and all that is holy, click a little quieter. No! Do NOT rustle that chip bag. Are you nuts?!?!?!? How dare you slurp your soda! GOD, NO!!!!!!!!! Don't breathe, don't even move!

We have discovered the source of the youngling's lack of sleep. A tooth is in our midst. Yes, he is only 3 months old. Yes, we have tried Tylenol, teething tabs, and teether toys. No, I had completely forgotten that babies do this when they cut teeth when I was "busy" a year ago. (Hi, Mom!)

Please. I am begging you. He is finally asleep. His longest nap was 30 minutes straight today. I love you and all, but tiptoe away and come back tomorrow.

But wear socks.