« Home | Since my letter to Santa was obviously diverted...... » | The Diva has spoken. » | Here's the story.... » | So THAT'S how it happens. » | Hey. You. Yes, you. Shhhhhhhhh! » | *ahem* » | I'm dreaming of a.........Snow Day » | Sleep has a taste. » | Thanks. Ya coulda clued me in. » | At risk of being judged, branded and labelled.... » 

Wednesday, December 14, 2005 

The One Where the Child Says, "Dammit"

Last night I was watching the news in the living room and surfing the net. LMD was in the kitchen, "helping" me by splashing water and soap everywhere, pretending to wash dishes. I heard the sounds you normally expect to hear: clinking, thumping, splashing and.......

"What did you just say?" Certain my sweet, angelic daughter of two had said she "dropped it".

"Dammit!" I hear Cman in the other room say, "Oh no she didn't.........." with that tone of voice reserved for when a sibling is in trouble.

I stand up and turn around, fully prepared to give her the look that all parents have perfected. You know, the one that drops a child to their knees, quaking with fear. (On a side note, my dad did this wearing his glasses. He would glare at me over the tops. To this day, anyone else who does that to me is nonplussed at my fits of giggles. But, I digress.)

Instead, I stop. This child is standing on the chair, water droplets dripping from her constantly frizzy blonde hair. Her huge blue eyes gaze at me with glee. Her cheeks plump up as she smiles and shouts, "Oh, dammit!"

I try in vain to give her the look, but I know it's too late. She's seen the mirth in my eyes. I bite my cheeks, scowl and say, "That's a bad word! Time out!" I scoop her up from the chair she is standing on, and begin marching her to her room, careful not to let her see me laughing. We meet Mr. Chaos, who has come in to see what the commotion is about, at which she point she starts in.......

"Dammit! (pause) Dammit! (pause) Dammit? dammitdammitdammitdammit..........DAAAAAAAAAAAMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"

I put her on the bed, tell her something lame about using bad words and flee the room. Both Mr. Chaos and I run for the garage door and close it behind us. We dissolve into fits of giggles. We then blame each other in turn for teaching her the word, start laughing again. It was like a laughing fit in church, only worse, because if the kids heard us, they would win. We knew that we may as well have handed over the keys to the kingdom at that point. Letting them hear us would be a HUGE parental disaster, robbing us of any and all authority.

After composing ourselves, we go back in to find Cman in LMD's room scolding her. "That is a bad word! I don't even say it!" LMD is horrfied. She gasps, her hand flies to cover her mouth.

Mr. Chaos and I head back to the garage.

Cman is cool. And it could have been worse, she could have said shit. Which A said once after hearing his idol, Richard Dean Anderson, say it on Stargate. *sigh*

Post a Comment

Links to this post

Create a Link