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Sunday, February 05, 2006 

Bitchslapped by Reality

Those of you who came here for humor today can go elsewhere on your blog list. Kirdy needs to do some blogger therapy today. Ya don't like it? Sorry, my blog, my rules. More fun tomorrow, promise.

I will start by saying Cman was born with a rare form of spina bifida. It was discovered in OR minutes after his birth. He had neurosurgery to repair his lesion 12 hours after he was born. We were told by the doctors at that time we would be looking at a lifetime of surgeries, shunts, and therapy. We did monthly, then biannual, then annual visits to the neurosurgeon. At his last visit we were told he is about 95% out of the woods for developing complications. Yes, he is one of the lucky ones. He has not needed any additional surgeris, is shunt-free, and is able to walk, run, use the toilet and do a thousand other things "normal" kids can. All he has is a small scar on his back.

Mr. Chaos and I have always been told to watch for signs of a tethered cord. Loss of mobility or sensation in the feet is the major sign of a tethered cord. Any time a child goes through a rapid growth phase (which the Cman is doing now) it puts the cord at a greater risk for tethering.

Yesterday the Chaos family went to Target to run our weekly errands. I took off to one part of the store with Youngling, and Mr. Chaos went off with LMD and Cman. I picked up the things I needed and was going to find Mr. Chaos when I heard Cman crying, and found him sitting on the floor. I figured he tripped, stumbled, hurt himself somehow.

I asked him what was wrong and he said his "foot was gone". I looked at Mr. Chaos over Cman's head and he said, "He can't feel his foot." I felt like I was sucked through a wind tunnel. The air rushed around me and everything became bright. Colors surged, the light was blinding, I could hear noises previously silent. I felt sick. I remembered feeling like this often five years ago. And I'm fairly certain that I stopped breathing for a moment.

I dropped to the floor and took off his shoe. Yep, right in the middle of the main aisle, right in front of the candles. People were having to walk around us, but I only cared about my boy's foot. I took off his sock and started to rub the foot.

At which point he giggled and said, "That tickles."

Yep, along with being a hypochondriac, yours truly is also a drama queen. The boy's foot fell asleep from riding on Mr. Chaos' shoulders. Geez, could I be more of a dumbass? Really.

I was so relieved I had to leave everyone for a minute, go down another aisle and cry. I remembered how thankful I was once was for all the blessings we had been given, and how in less than five years I had quickly taken it all for granted. I was ashamed.

Lesson for the day? Don't be a drama queen, but don't take things for granted, either. Homework assignment is list one thing in the comments section you take for granted, but probably shouldn't.

One more lesson: Don't go to Target!


(((HUGS))) for one of the two biggest drama queens I know!

Excuse me Miss Drama Queen #2. I know who you are and you are at Target more than I am. Also, you don't follow directions. What do you take for granted that you probably shouldn't? Hm?

How about getting those contractions stopped? You resting today? /momma kirdy off

Man, still scary!!!

Glad he is okay!!

Hee hee - you thought I was the big drama queen #2 ?? or do you have two friends that don't listen and have contractions???

Does this make me drama queen #3 - because quite frankly - that's unacceptable.

HUGS to you... I am grateful I've never had that scare - I'm lived through you and it's still ugly, ugly scary. I'm just so glad your beautiful Cman is such a healthy guy.



A thousand pardons to Het. I had you confused with another Drama Queen I know who has reason to tell me to stay away from Target. But I shall never give up my love affair with the red bullseye, no matter how much the yellow smiley guy winks at me.

I thought I was the drama queen. Anyhoo, I should be more grateful that J wasn't born with tethered cord, as the pediatrician thought he might be. We went through the ultrasound and the nights of sleeplessness (damn you Google!). So I kind of know that feeling, when you look at your baby and think, "Oh shit..." and your mind races through all the horrible things that could be happening.

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